My parents will kill me if they find out.
You don't understand. They'll kick me out of the house!
My parents are forcing me to have an abortion.
What if he leaves me?
I'm so embarrassed! What will everyone think?
I've got my whole life ahead of me. A baby doesn't fit into my plans.
I'm not ready to be a mother.
What's the big deal? It's not a baby yet.
I don't want to end up poor and on welfare. I need to finish my education.
An abortion seems so much easier than pregnancy. I just want to get this over with.
I don't have any medical insurance.
I can't afford a baby.
The doctor said that there might be something wrong with the baby.
I just had a baby. I can't have another right now.
Everyone around me thinks abortion is the best idea.
I wish I could have this baby, but I don't know where to go for help.
How soon can I take a pregnancy test?
What if we don't go all the way?
What are the first signs of pregnancy?

My parents will kill me if they find out.
Yes, your parents may initially be upset and disappointed. Give them some time to adjust to the news. Parents usually come to terms with the situation and become an invaluable source of support. Usually we see that the grandparents-to-be are excited about the baby as the due date approaches. If you are afraid to tell your parents, a counselor from our center can work with you to determine the best way to break the news.

If you decide not to tell your parents, our experience has been that the parents usually find out anyway. In these situations, mothers especially are saddened that they weren't given the opportunity to support their daughter when she most needed it.

You don't understand. They'll kick me out of the house!
You you may have heard your parents threaten to throw you out if you ever got pregnant. Our experience is that when pregnancy becomes a reality, parents are more understanding then you may think. Let them have some time to cool down and adjust and see if they don’t welcome you home.

If your parents really do kick you out, we can help you find another place to stay while you are expecting. We have a registry of families who have volunteered to house pregnant girls. There are also many fully equipped maternity homes with young women staying there who are in the same situation. The maternity home will assist you with prenatal care, parenting education, counseling, and many other needs you may have. Contact our office if you need help with housing during pregnancy.

My parents are forcing me to have an abortion.
Legally, no one can force you to have an abortion. In fact, forcing a minor to have an abortion is child abuse. If you tell the doctor that someone else is forcing you into this decision, he or she will not perform the abortion.

What if he leaves me?
In all honesty, this is possible. Remember that whatever fear or anxiety you are feeling, he is probably feeling, too. Some men are more willing than others to step up and take responsibility in this situation. You will need to assess what is best for you whether or not he stays involved. In our experience, more often than not, relationships break up within months (sometimes days) after an abortion. Keep in mind when making that assessment. Ending your pregnancy will not necessarily keep him around any longer.

I'm so embarrassed! What will everyone think?
There are many single parents today, some divorced and some never married. Years ago this was a real concern, but today the stigma attached to single parenthood is far reduced. In fact, our local high schools and colleges have publicly funded programs for pregnant and parenting students.

I've got my whole life ahead of me. A baby doesn't fit into my plans.
There is usually never an ideal time to have a baby. There will always be one more class to finish, car to pay off, house to buy, vacation to take. No matter when you decide to have a child, there will be trade-offs and sacrifices to make. It's impossible to predict the future. Many couples wait a very long time to start their families, only to find later that their circumstances never became ideal. If this truly is a bad time for you, then maybe adoption is the loving choice for you.

I'm not ready to be a mother.
Few people are truly prepared to be a mother. At this time it seems overwhelming, but that is why God gives us nine months to prepare. This is why it is important to have good support and know what resources are available to you. San Diego has many programs that will help prepare you for motherhood. This may also be a good time to explore the possibility of adoption.

What's the big deal? It's not a baby yet.
Although the unborn child does not have legal rights under the law, the fetus is very alive. By the third week of pregnancy, the heart has started beating. By eight weeks, brain waves can be measured. By twelve weeks, the child can and does cry, though silently. By sixteen weeks, the baby's movements can be felt by the mother. Many women bond with their unborn children long before they are born and feel a great sense of loss after an abortion.

I don't want to end up poor and on welfare. I need to finish my education.
Having a baby does not mean that you will end up as a welfare mother, even if you are poor and single. California has many programs that can assist you. Although it may be more difficult to attend school during pregnancy, it does not need to limit your educational achievements. Our experience has been that a woman's motivation and self-esteem determine her ability to do well, not an unplanned pregnancy. We would love to help you find the resources that would best assist you.

There is an unspoken assumption that the college-educated or working woman knows how to avoid an unplanned pregnancy; that she is rarely, if ever, faced with one and if so, can take care of herself. The statistics, however, reveal just the opposite. The majority of women who have abortions have earned at least a high school diploma, are between the ages of 20 and 26 and are unmarried.

In the midst of her education or career and with a promising future ahead, this is the woman who most often feels she had “too much to lose” by continuing an unplanned pregnancy. The idea of interrupting future plans for nine-months – let alone a lifetime- is for many, too much to handle. Yet ironically, these are the women for whom the least support has been available. This is why we are here; to help you realistically evaluate your options, your plans, and your future while weighing the risks involved and the resources available.

An abortion seems so much easier than pregnancy. I just want to get this over with.
The abortion procedure is quick, but the effects can last a lifetime. Abortion can leave you emotionally impacted for years. In our experience, common post-abortion symptoms include depression, nightmares, guilt, regret, avoidance of babies, and even self-destructive behaviors. The difficulties usually get worse over time and not better. Most dating relationships do not survive an abortion as the experience drives the couple further apart. Some women are physically damaged from the abortion, and some are even left permanently infertile. If this is your first pregnancy, aborting can double your risk of developing breast cancer; multiple abortions can increase your risk of breast cancer three-fold.

I don't have any medical insurance.
It's not too late to get coverage for your prenatal care and delivery. Most college students are covered for pregnancy under their university health plans. If you are unemployed, a high-school student, or otherwise have little income, you will most likely qualify for Medi-Cal. If you make too much money for Medi-Cal, but not enough for private insurance, you may qualify for AIM -- a special state-subsidized plan for low-income women and children. You may even be able to obtain private insurance if you apply early in the pregnancy. Please call our office to discuss your funding options (619) 337-8080.

I can't afford a baby.
Babies can cost as much as parents are willing to spend. Much of our society focuses on having numerous possessions for ourselves and children, but material things do not create a loving family. After you look back on your life, those things which you value the most will not be the possessions you spent a lot of money on, but rather your children and relationships. It's more important to invest in the new life inside you than all the things you think you and your baby will need.

Having a baby will increase your budget, however, regardless of how thrifty you are. For this reason, we offer maternity clothes, baby clothes, and baby equipment to any woman who needs it at no charge. Programs like WIC help women and their children obtain healthy foods at no cost.

Also, you can save a tremendous amount of money by purchasing baby furniture second-hand. Relatives and friends are often eager to help with infant clothes and other goods.

The doctor said that there might be something wrong with the baby.
Prenatal tests are often used today to give doctors a baseline and a heads up to any possible fetal abnormalities. It does not often pinpoint a severe problem; in fact most tests that come back positive will actually be false which you were probably told by your doctor. A physician is required to tell you if your tests show anything abnormal but be careful not to jump to conclusions. To give you an example of how these test work, out of 100 Alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) first time tests, about 50 will have positive results. Out of those 50, more testing will be done because of the rate of false positives. Only one or two of these babies will still come out positive after a variety of tests which may include ultrasound and amniocentisis. A CAPS medical professional can give you more information about prenatal testing at our center.

I just had a baby. I can't have another one right now.
If you have just given birth, it can be a tremendous shock to find that you are pregnant again. When we are in shock, it's easy to make a quick decision that doesn't necessarily fit in with our normal way of thinking. This is a good time to sit down with someone and talk through those things that concern you. There are possible positives that you can't see right now like the fact that children close in age can often be a blessing in disguise. Let us help you to look at both sides of the equation. Your counselor will encourage you by assessing your strenghts and support system.

Everyone around me thinks abortion is the best idea.
Although your friends, relatives and partner may all feel abortion is the best choice, you are the only one who can make the final decision. You are ultimately responsible for your actions and will have to live with the consequences of your choice. An abortion is never easy to forget.

I wish I could have this baby, but I don't know where to go for help.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to talk with someone about your options, please call our office at (619) 337-8080. You can speak to a counselor who understands your situation and can offer practical solutions to a problem pregnancy.

How soon can I take a pregnancy test?
Urine pregnancy tests such as First Response can detect pregancy as early as 4 days before your missed period. For best results you should wait until you have missed your first period before testing.

What if we didn't go "all the way"?
There is always a chance of pregnancy if a man ejaculates ("comes") anywhere near the vaginal opening. Even if you do not become pregnant, there are other sources of concern. Many STD's can be passed along by any sexual contact - including oral sex.

What are the first signs of pregnancy?
Some early signs of pregnancy include: a missed period, unusual breast tenderness or fullness, nausea, vomiting and fatigue.